this just cracked me up...lol...i needed it this afternoon...
oh the things our pets would prolly say if they really did talk...out loud.
ciao ciao
hpro
Friday, March 28, 2008
What The Hell?
did u know that if a white cat has two blue eyes, it is often deaf...
Why!?
what the hell does that mean?
dont ask your white cat...he wont hear u.
lol
ciao ciao
hpro
Why!?
what the hell does that mean?
dont ask your white cat...he wont hear u.
lol
ciao ciao
hpro
Our Gift...
so i have a friend who works in the mental health industry...and no, im not a client of hers...but she does share some fabulous stories with me...
well this one, wasnt so fabulous...it kinda annoyed the crap out of me...and i wanted to share it with all of you...so u could be annoyed too...lol
some of her clients are KA-RAZY, and clearly need the help they get...but others, well, not so much...
there is a client of hers...who is clearly pretend crazy...you know, definitely not like stupid crazy...she knows exactly what shes doing and just doesnt feel the need to contribute to society at all...a recovering on and off again drug addict who does nothing all day and likes it that way...blah blah...anyway...i just found out from my friend, that you and i just bought her pretend crazy ass client a present...oh yes we did my friends...
we bought crazy lazy ass a tummy tuck and a new fabulous set of boobs with our tax dollars!! oh its true...
not only does our tax money go to pay for her insurance and the 547 different medications shes on for depression, anxiety, and what not...but now she has a flat stomach and some brand new bazooms for her friends to snort coke off of...
uh, yeah i said it...lol
i might not mind so much if EVERY single hardworking and/or retired citizen in this country had healthcare right now...but when people who milk (lol um, no pun intended) the system, have full benefits etc...and people who actually work and contribute to our society do not? then i get a little angry...dont tell me you dont have the money to eat and survive, but you can suck the fat out of your stomach and then plop two new ginormous orbs to your chest??...
i want alot of things i cant have...and i dont expect anybody else to foot the bill just so i can...i mean unless you want to of course...
i am all for someone getting voluntary plastic surgery for themselves if they want it...im all for it...thats their choice...if you wanna de-uglify yourself...PLEASE for all of our sakes, do it...BUT it should be THEIR money they spend to buy it...not mine...and not yours...
if you are getting money from the government...which kinda translates into "money from your fellow citizens" to eat and live...then how the hell are you gonna go and spend what we give you on some boobs!??! you better be buying some damn crackers and bologna instead...
i am all about taking care of eachother...thats what our country is about...or should be about...when you are going through some bad stuff, the government should have your back...but to take advantage of that system!?!? how does a "want" become a "need" that i have to pay for!?!?
AUGHH!!
um,...unless shes gonna take those big bodacious ta tas to a strip club, work a pole, and then pay me back...
ok, then i wont be mad...
lol
ciao ciao
hpro
well this one, wasnt so fabulous...it kinda annoyed the crap out of me...and i wanted to share it with all of you...so u could be annoyed too...lol
some of her clients are KA-RAZY, and clearly need the help they get...but others, well, not so much...
there is a client of hers...who is clearly pretend crazy...you know, definitely not like stupid crazy...she knows exactly what shes doing and just doesnt feel the need to contribute to society at all...a recovering on and off again drug addict who does nothing all day and likes it that way...blah blah...anyway...i just found out from my friend, that you and i just bought her pretend crazy ass client a present...oh yes we did my friends...
we bought crazy lazy ass a tummy tuck and a new fabulous set of boobs with our tax dollars!! oh its true...
not only does our tax money go to pay for her insurance and the 547 different medications shes on for depression, anxiety, and what not...but now she has a flat stomach and some brand new bazooms for her friends to snort coke off of...
uh, yeah i said it...lol
i might not mind so much if EVERY single hardworking and/or retired citizen in this country had healthcare right now...but when people who milk (lol um, no pun intended) the system, have full benefits etc...and people who actually work and contribute to our society do not? then i get a little angry...dont tell me you dont have the money to eat and survive, but you can suck the fat out of your stomach and then plop two new ginormous orbs to your chest??...
i want alot of things i cant have...and i dont expect anybody else to foot the bill just so i can...i mean unless you want to of course...
i am all for someone getting voluntary plastic surgery for themselves if they want it...im all for it...thats their choice...if you wanna de-uglify yourself...PLEASE for all of our sakes, do it...BUT it should be THEIR money they spend to buy it...not mine...and not yours...
if you are getting money from the government...which kinda translates into "money from your fellow citizens" to eat and live...then how the hell are you gonna go and spend what we give you on some boobs!??! you better be buying some damn crackers and bologna instead...
i am all about taking care of eachother...thats what our country is about...or should be about...when you are going through some bad stuff, the government should have your back...but to take advantage of that system!?!? how does a "want" become a "need" that i have to pay for!?!?
AUGHH!!
um,...unless shes gonna take those big bodacious ta tas to a strip club, work a pole, and then pay me back...
ok, then i wont be mad...
lol
ciao ciao
hpro
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Head + Wall = Weightloss...Yippee!
i love how the mom is more concerned that it was all caught on camera than actually checking to see if her kid was ok...lol
did u know that banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour?...
i had no idea i was getting such a workout...maybe i should be more grateful for the stupid people...
lol cripes.
ciao ciao
hpro
did u know that banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour?...
i had no idea i was getting such a workout...maybe i should be more grateful for the stupid people...
lol cripes.
ciao ciao
hpro
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Do You Live On The Corner Of...
umm...
i could prolly name a couple of you who live on that corner...lol
ciao ciao
hpro
i could prolly name a couple of you who live on that corner...lol
ciao ciao
hpro
The Straight Down Fall...
i originally wasnt going to share this story...but here i go...last night, in the privacy of my own home...i did a straight down fall...yes, a straight down fall...three separate words...straight. down. fall...
i was walking towards the tv (um, of course)in my bedroom, and i had a pile of pillows next to my bed...so instead of stepping over them, like any normal person...i stepped right on them...
and instead of me catching myself on the bed...which would have been anyones normal reaction...i kinda just stood in my one place, got all wobble kneed, got lower, lower, lower, and then down...thud, right underneath myself...lol...and it took a lot longer than expected to friggin get to the ground! lolol a straight down fall...
if only a video camera had been set up on the other side of the bed, it would have looked like those people who stand behind an object, and pretend theyre going down steps, or an escalator...shrinking and what not...
i actually sat there for a moment...on my face, looking right at the floor...and i thought...'um, what the hell was that?'...lol....and when i got up, my cat, who was sitting on the bed, was looking at me like, 'um, what the hell was that?'...lol
i have never fallen like that before...lol...it was alot like the wicked witch of the west when she gets the bucket of water thrown on her..."im melting, im melting"...only i was like "im straight down falling...im straight down falling..."
lolol
the girl in the video below falls twice...her second fall is pretty much what mine looked like, except i was a little bit more underneath myself in the actual fall...lol...and it took me a little longer to hit the ground...oh and i didnt have on those crazy shoes...or a damn flowerpot...lol
but i wanted you to understand the mechanics of the straight down fall...and this is the closest example i could find...
yeah, at least i didnt have a flowerpot...
lol
the straight down fall...how embarrassing...
ciao ciao
hpro
i was walking towards the tv (um, of course)in my bedroom, and i had a pile of pillows next to my bed...so instead of stepping over them, like any normal person...i stepped right on them...
and instead of me catching myself on the bed...which would have been anyones normal reaction...i kinda just stood in my one place, got all wobble kneed, got lower, lower, lower, and then down...thud, right underneath myself...lol...and it took a lot longer than expected to friggin get to the ground! lolol a straight down fall...
if only a video camera had been set up on the other side of the bed, it would have looked like those people who stand behind an object, and pretend theyre going down steps, or an escalator...shrinking and what not...
i actually sat there for a moment...on my face, looking right at the floor...and i thought...'um, what the hell was that?'...lol....and when i got up, my cat, who was sitting on the bed, was looking at me like, 'um, what the hell was that?'...lol
i have never fallen like that before...lol...it was alot like the wicked witch of the west when she gets the bucket of water thrown on her..."im melting, im melting"...only i was like "im straight down falling...im straight down falling..."
lolol
the girl in the video below falls twice...her second fall is pretty much what mine looked like, except i was a little bit more underneath myself in the actual fall...lol...and it took me a little longer to hit the ground...oh and i didnt have on those crazy shoes...or a damn flowerpot...lol
but i wanted you to understand the mechanics of the straight down fall...and this is the closest example i could find...
yeah, at least i didnt have a flowerpot...
lol
the straight down fall...how embarrassing...
ciao ciao
hpro
Star-Bellied Sneetches?
Oklahoma House Rep. Sally Kern made an Easter Sunday appearance on KFOR-TV's "Flash Point" to face off with an openly gay pastor, elaborating on her recent crappy speech and defending her crappy views.
A debate ensued between Rep. Kern, host Kevin Ogle, panelists Burns Hargis and Mike Turpen, and Dr. Scott Jones of Oklahoma City's Cathedral of Hope.
warning, these videos will prolly anger you...A LOT...especially the second one...
here are some of my personal favorites...
"I did talk about what I believe...scientific evidence, health evidence...proves that the homosexual lifestyle is a dangerous lifestyle. And, yes, I did compare it to being more dangerous than terrorism. And my point in doing that, gentlemen, was this: Everybody knows terrorism destroys and tears down, and that was the only analogy I was making is that the homosexual agenda, this lifestyle which is so destructive to individuals, is at the heart trying to tear down what is the bedrock foundation of our society, which is the family and traditional marriage."
unbelievable...and the gov.spitzers of the world arent tearing anything down??...just the gays you guys...
"I believe that the...homosexual agenda, and the lifestyle that it involves, is deadly to this nation. Now, I was not saying that Scott here is personally as dangerous as Osama bin Laden, but I was just making a comparison to prove my point."
oh, just a little harmless comparison...lol...what a buttpie...
"Well, I would denounce hate speech of any kind," rebuts Jones, "and have in my public remarks in response to yours. And you have to understand that when you say that gay people are like cancer...and cancer is something that we eradicate; that we kill; or that we are worse than terrorists, and terrorists are people that we go after to annihilate, to kill, you have to understand why those words would outrage people, because what are you saying? That we should go after gay people and eradicate them or annihilate them?"
kudos to pastor jones who was so incredibly well spoken as compared to rep. dumbass.
"I have worked with other individuals who are homosexual. I don't hate them. I have never been rude to them."...lol oh good, youre not rude to them...lol...GOD what an idiot...but a polite one, mind you...lol
oh, and this is definitely a brilliant one...
"If a person is born black, they can't change that," Kern explains.
what the?!
but you guys, apparently she is justified in her moronic thinking...because of the following...
"Mine is not an extreme view," counters Kern. "Mine is the view of the average American citizen,"
um, ya think so? cuz last time i checked i was an average american citizen (i mean with a clear added dose of fabulousness of course...lol but still an "average" citizen) and i think your view is disgusting...you are an embarrassment...and you DEFINITELY should not hold public office...
and the stupid continue to talk...
and if one thing bothers me more than when stupid people talk...its when stupid condescending people talk...
maybe she should stop trying to find, distort, and then quote all the hate in the Bible...and start quoting a thing or two from The Sneetches...she could learn a thing or two...thousand...
"until neither the Plain nor the Star-Bellies knew
whether this one was that one or that one was this one
or which one was what one... or what one was who."
one could learn a lot from some sneetches...
just sayin...
ciao ciao
hpro
A debate ensued between Rep. Kern, host Kevin Ogle, panelists Burns Hargis and Mike Turpen, and Dr. Scott Jones of Oklahoma City's Cathedral of Hope.
warning, these videos will prolly anger you...A LOT...especially the second one...
here are some of my personal favorites...
"I did talk about what I believe...scientific evidence, health evidence...proves that the homosexual lifestyle is a dangerous lifestyle. And, yes, I did compare it to being more dangerous than terrorism. And my point in doing that, gentlemen, was this: Everybody knows terrorism destroys and tears down, and that was the only analogy I was making is that the homosexual agenda, this lifestyle which is so destructive to individuals, is at the heart trying to tear down what is the bedrock foundation of our society, which is the family and traditional marriage."
unbelievable...and the gov.spitzers of the world arent tearing anything down??...just the gays you guys...
"I believe that the...homosexual agenda, and the lifestyle that it involves, is deadly to this nation. Now, I was not saying that Scott here is personally as dangerous as Osama bin Laden, but I was just making a comparison to prove my point."
oh, just a little harmless comparison...lol...what a buttpie...
"Well, I would denounce hate speech of any kind," rebuts Jones, "and have in my public remarks in response to yours. And you have to understand that when you say that gay people are like cancer...and cancer is something that we eradicate; that we kill; or that we are worse than terrorists, and terrorists are people that we go after to annihilate, to kill, you have to understand why those words would outrage people, because what are you saying? That we should go after gay people and eradicate them or annihilate them?"
kudos to pastor jones who was so incredibly well spoken as compared to rep. dumbass.
"I have worked with other individuals who are homosexual. I don't hate them. I have never been rude to them."...lol oh good, youre not rude to them...lol...GOD what an idiot...but a polite one, mind you...lol
oh, and this is definitely a brilliant one...
"If a person is born black, they can't change that," Kern explains.
what the?!
but you guys, apparently she is justified in her moronic thinking...because of the following...
"Mine is not an extreme view," counters Kern. "Mine is the view of the average American citizen,"
um, ya think so? cuz last time i checked i was an average american citizen (i mean with a clear added dose of fabulousness of course...lol but still an "average" citizen) and i think your view is disgusting...you are an embarrassment...and you DEFINITELY should not hold public office...
and the stupid continue to talk...
and if one thing bothers me more than when stupid people talk...its when stupid condescending people talk...
maybe she should stop trying to find, distort, and then quote all the hate in the Bible...and start quoting a thing or two from The Sneetches...she could learn a thing or two...thousand...
"until neither the Plain nor the Star-Bellies knew
whether this one was that one or that one was this one
or which one was what one... or what one was who."
one could learn a lot from some sneetches...
just sayin...
ciao ciao
hpro
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Mamby Pamby...
this is who i want to be the next president of the united states...
lolol
cue the music...
"ive gotta crush on samtheeagle"...
lol love him...
ciao ciao
hpro
lolol
cue the music...
"ive gotta crush on samtheeagle"...
lol love him...
ciao ciao
hpro
Uh...You Need To Pay For That...
lol
um, sir...you cant just go in there and take what you want...i understand you might be a fan of the fritos or cheetos...whatever your taste may be, but you cant just go in and take some! and i saw you peruse the shelves before you made your decision...and then strut on outta there like you own the joint...
oh im a little bird...i like to strut my stuff and take whatever i want whenever i want...thats just what i do...
lolol
ciao ciao
hpro
Monday, March 24, 2008
The Newest Member Of The Family...
uh...lol...
looks like jerry just bought himself a one-way ticket back to the animal shelter...
lol
"oh my GOD...oh my GOSH...oh my GAWD..." AHH HAHAHAHA
ciao ciao
hpro
looks like jerry just bought himself a one-way ticket back to the animal shelter...
lol
"oh my GOD...oh my GOSH...oh my GAWD..." AHH HAHAHAHA
ciao ciao
hpro
Gonking Not Allowed!
um, really!? this makes me very uncomfortable...lol
what the!? do people really need to be told not to gonk on the subway?? and take a look at that sign for a sec...that dude is in a VERY deep second...squatting with the gonk plops coming out...did they need to show the gonkies coming out!?!?
and did you see that the word 'defecating' is friggin capitalized!? um, why? is it a title of importance... a book... a new dance craze? and look at the people next to him...just arms folded enjoying the ride...do you people not see the man pushing you over to make room for his gonktime??? wait, is he pushing them, or is he using them for balance during the whole gonk process?? now i am angry at them...why are you just sitting there for the love of GOD?!?!
couldnt the sign just say..."for those disgusting classless jackasses who might consider doing their gonkies on the subway...um, please reconsider?"
i cant believe they need to even make signs for this...what is wrong with the world today!?!? lol
ciao ciao
hpro
what the!? do people really need to be told not to gonk on the subway?? and take a look at that sign for a sec...that dude is in a VERY deep second...squatting with the gonk plops coming out...did they need to show the gonkies coming out!?!?
and did you see that the word 'defecating' is friggin capitalized!? um, why? is it a title of importance... a book... a new dance craze? and look at the people next to him...just arms folded enjoying the ride...do you people not see the man pushing you over to make room for his gonktime??? wait, is he pushing them, or is he using them for balance during the whole gonk process?? now i am angry at them...why are you just sitting there for the love of GOD?!?!
couldnt the sign just say..."for those disgusting classless jackasses who might consider doing their gonkies on the subway...um, please reconsider?"
i cant believe they need to even make signs for this...what is wrong with the world today!?!? lol
ciao ciao
hpro
Step Away From The Machine...
did you know that in the usa, 13 people die every year from vending machines falling on them!? oh its true...
what is going on here people!?
CAREFUL! if your damn corn nuts dont fall, just give it a little jiggle...but dont pull the damn thing on top of you! cripes...
there, ive done my part...
ciao ciao
hpro
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Great Cast Members In This One...
ok...its my favorite....MUPPET TIME!!!
lol...how can you not laugh at that!? lol...the cannon balls smackin everybody...i love it! i am also HUGE fan of sam the eagle...i love when he turns to the camera and says.. "shocking." lol...
oh sam the eagle...i love him...i wish he really did the news...think about how much more enjoyable all of the election coverage would be if sam were running the show....or if he was the one asking all of the questions during the debates? lolol or how great would it be if he was the 'dateline' dude on that one "to catch a child molester show"?? he could be the one walking into the kitchen, when theres some disgusting hairy dude munching on cookies waiting for the underage girl to come out....and in comes sam the eagle... "well hello there, im sam the eagle. you knowingly sent this 13 year old girl naked pictures of yourself....( and then directly into the camera) shocking." lololol
the old men in the balcony box are always faves of mine as well...and i think my absolute favorite part of this sketch is when the nurse comes in and hits that one cranky dude in the face with the two by four...did you see his face after that!? just stuck all shmushed...hysterical! lol
ahh, the muppets...
ciao ciao
hpro
lol...how can you not laugh at that!? lol...the cannon balls smackin everybody...i love it! i am also HUGE fan of sam the eagle...i love when he turns to the camera and says.. "shocking." lol...
oh sam the eagle...i love him...i wish he really did the news...think about how much more enjoyable all of the election coverage would be if sam were running the show....or if he was the one asking all of the questions during the debates? lolol or how great would it be if he was the 'dateline' dude on that one "to catch a child molester show"?? he could be the one walking into the kitchen, when theres some disgusting hairy dude munching on cookies waiting for the underage girl to come out....and in comes sam the eagle... "well hello there, im sam the eagle. you knowingly sent this 13 year old girl naked pictures of yourself....( and then directly into the camera) shocking." lololol
the old men in the balcony box are always faves of mine as well...and i think my absolute favorite part of this sketch is when the nurse comes in and hits that one cranky dude in the face with the two by four...did you see his face after that!? just stuck all shmushed...hysterical! lol
ahh, the muppets...
ciao ciao
hpro
For The Greater Good...
OH GOD!
CAREFUL!! lolol....after looking at that swing a couple of times,i think the bag was just putting him out of his own misery...
golfer: "im gonna really focus and hit a great shot"
bag: "did you just hit me?? just get in the water! GO! here i'll help you.."
lol
ciao ciao
hpro
CAREFUL!! lolol....after looking at that swing a couple of times,i think the bag was just putting him out of his own misery...
golfer: "im gonna really focus and hit a great shot"
bag: "did you just hit me?? just get in the water! GO! here i'll help you.."
lol
ciao ciao
hpro
Saturday, March 22, 2008
I Love My Crazy Ass Brother...
we take college basketball march madness very seriously in our family...well, more just my brother and i...VERY seriously...we consider ourselves the college hoops sibling gurus...
right now, we are doing extremely well with all of our brackets...knock on wood...
this is one of my favorite times of year...my brother and i are already close, but when the tournament starts...well, we talk to eachother about 12 times a day (we are on opposite coasts)...and we just have so much fun...it really makes me happy...
but what i wanted to share with you, is a quote, if you will....it will perhaps help you in better understanding the beautiful relationship i have with my brother...
he said to me, this...
If Xavier (a team i had picked) didn't come back and win in their first round game, he was tearing up every f**king photo of me as a baby, and those of me with the family as well...
lol
there is nothing like the love between a brother and sister...lol
ciao ciao
hpro
xavier did end up coming from behind and winning that first round game...thank GOD....lol
right now, we are doing extremely well with all of our brackets...knock on wood...
this is one of my favorite times of year...my brother and i are already close, but when the tournament starts...well, we talk to eachother about 12 times a day (we are on opposite coasts)...and we just have so much fun...it really makes me happy...
but what i wanted to share with you, is a quote, if you will....it will perhaps help you in better understanding the beautiful relationship i have with my brother...
he said to me, this...
If Xavier (a team i had picked) didn't come back and win in their first round game, he was tearing up every f**king photo of me as a baby, and those of me with the family as well...
lol
there is nothing like the love between a brother and sister...lol
ciao ciao
hpro
xavier did end up coming from behind and winning that first round game...thank GOD....lol
An Outrage!
people, you cant just chuck your little ugly children!...i mean, really!...it shouldnt matter how ugly they are...dont toss them in the ugly children garbage can...
um, cuz then we kinda all have to look at them...
HAHAHA...KIDDING!!!
all children are beautiful...
uh...kidding again....lolol
many are...
lol
uh, actually that child looks A ALOT like my mom did...lol...ill have to ask her...i wonder if she was a victim of ugly children disposal...lol...poor mom...HAHAHAHA
ciao ciao
hpro
Friday, March 21, 2008
Goat Faintings!? Uht...LOLOL
uhh...this just made me laugh so hard...fainting goats!?!?
"look at me, im a cute little goat...i love to frolick and play...la la la...i hope i dont panic and OHMYGOD" thud. lolol
how 'bout that one that just faints forward...all sprawled forward plopped down with stiff little legs sticking out...
this is so funny to me...how random...goat faintings...
ciao ciao
hpro
"look at me, im a cute little goat...i love to frolick and play...la la la...i hope i dont panic and OHMYGOD" thud. lolol
how 'bout that one that just faints forward...all sprawled forward plopped down with stiff little legs sticking out...
this is so funny to me...how random...goat faintings...
ciao ciao
hpro
Take That!
Isnt she pretty?
A Pennsylvania woman is being accused of attacking her sister...
ok...that stuff happens, right? i beat my sister regularly...i mean ALL the time...lol
but my favorite part of this story is this...um, she beat her sister with a (gulp) prosthetic leg!
oh yes, thats right...Donna Sturkie-Anthony PULLED off her sisters prosthetic leg and beat her with it...uht...lol?
she is being held without bond...
she beat her with her own leg?! lol...what the hell is that?! i mean i understand if it was some random persons leg...LOLOLOL...her own sisters leg...wow...
im laughing...only because im a cold person...but really think about his one for a sec...ok, i cant...
thats all...
ciao ciao
hpro
every beating i now give my sister will be with some random persons leg...lol
did i really write that!? lol
Just For Fun...
ok, i know this is a long one...but animal blooper stuff always makes me happy...
my favorite parts...the dog saying "i want my mama"...crazy...
the motorcycle dog? lol...
the french exercise dog...hysterical...
the barbell cat...what the?!
the cat tackling the small child...lolol...
um, and is that guy really chasing a damn BEAR!? lol...
oh, and is it me...but, that one lady who has her dog impersonating E.T. - wasnt she on sopranos? did she play the wife of that one restaurant owner friend of tonys? am i right??
lol
ciao ciao
hpro
my favorite parts...the dog saying "i want my mama"...crazy...
the motorcycle dog? lol...
the french exercise dog...hysterical...
the barbell cat...what the?!
the cat tackling the small child...lolol...
um, and is that guy really chasing a damn BEAR!? lol...
oh, and is it me...but, that one lady who has her dog impersonating E.T. - wasnt she on sopranos? did she play the wife of that one restaurant owner friend of tonys? am i right??
lol
ciao ciao
hpro
An Event Worth Attending...lolol
um, guys...can we maybe not broadcast this? or maybe lisa is very proud of the fact...lol...
can we just call him richard for today?? lol
wow.
ciao ciao
hpro
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Uh, Guys? Pooh Cookies?
ummm....
uh, i just saw this on amazon...lol...how the hell did this title get greenlit!? lolol...i think it might make me uncomfortable...lol
really!? Cooking With Pooh?! And the editors were ok with this!? lolol i love it!
we should all start cooking with pooh...lol
not sure anybodys gonna eat the crap, but....hahaha, get it!? i said "crap"...and its about pooh...lol...ok, im done...
go order the book now...so you, too, can cook with pooh...lol...some of you prolly already do...lololol
ciao ciao
hpro
uh, i just saw this on amazon...lol...how the hell did this title get greenlit!? lolol...i think it might make me uncomfortable...lol
really!? Cooking With Pooh?! And the editors were ok with this!? lolol i love it!
we should all start cooking with pooh...lol
not sure anybodys gonna eat the crap, but....hahaha, get it!? i said "crap"...and its about pooh...lol...ok, im done...
go order the book now...so you, too, can cook with pooh...lol...some of you prolly already do...lololol
ciao ciao
hpro
Uhh...Grapes And Wine?
i have no idea why this just made me laugh so hard...that mustache...lol...and those big ol' bottom but really top teeth?? lol...i think it was the pursed lips expression he makes at the end that really did it for me though...lol
what the!? lookin' kinda grinchlike at the end right? lol
"Bonjour...would you like some grapes and wine??" lol
say this to at least 3 people today...just for their reaction...lol...and make sure you purse your lips really hard...lol
oui oui
ciao ciao
hpro
what the!? lookin' kinda grinchlike at the end right? lol
"Bonjour...would you like some grapes and wine??" lol
say this to at least 3 people today...just for their reaction...lol...and make sure you purse your lips really hard...lol
oui oui
ciao ciao
hpro
Parched...
well then.
when youre thirsty, youre thirsty...lol...um, and look at that one baby just staring at him like "uh, for real? the water fountain my mom just drank out of?!"
dehydration is no joke...
dont judge...lol
ciao ciao
hpro
People Falling...I Love It....
here are some good ones to start the day... lol
keep an eye out for the big dude launching the kid out of the baby pool...and the dog booting the guy off of the slide...lol
that last one had me laughing for a bit...
ciao ciao
hpro
keep an eye out for the big dude launching the kid out of the baby pool...and the dog booting the guy off of the slide...lol
that last one had me laughing for a bit...
ciao ciao
hpro
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
AFI's Silver and Cold...
i dont love this one as much as "aint no other man" that i posted yesterday...but its still super smart and fun...lol
um...'oh my pitiful wombat'?...'fondue all the way'?? 'Ese'?! 'i will dribble the prell'?!?! HAHAHHA
this girl is onto something...i love what shes doing...lol
ciao ciao
hpro
um...'oh my pitiful wombat'?...'fondue all the way'?? 'Ese'?! 'i will dribble the prell'?!?! HAHAHHA
this girl is onto something...i love what shes doing...lol
ciao ciao
hpro
Some Fun...
um, my favorite part is when that one cat scares the other cat...lol...i kept watching that part over and over...lol
i love this kinda stuff...
ciao ciao
hpro
i love this kinda stuff...
ciao ciao
hpro
What The!?
did you know that raw asparagus is slightly poisonous? apparently so...so no nibbling before you cook the stuff...not that ive ever been really tempted to nibble on it...but i dont know, some of you might one day...and i dont want you to perish...
consider yourself warned...
ciao ciao
hpro
consider yourself warned...
ciao ciao
hpro
In Honor Of The Fabulous Story Following This Post...
"oooh look how sexy i am...you like that? yeah ya do...do you like this? watch what i can do baby...just watch how i work it...watch how i..."...KABLAM!...lololol
CAREFUL!!!
hilarious...
ciao ciao
hpro
now read on...
CAREFUL!!!
hilarious...
ciao ciao
hpro
now read on...
Warning: Lap Dances Bad For Eyesight...
A businessman in new york is suing...who is this businessman suing you may ask...um...yeah...well...apparently he was injured when a stripper giving him a lap dance swiveled, dropped it like it was very hot, and uh smacked him in the face with the heel of her shoe...HAHAHAHAHA...
Stephen Chang, a securities trader, said in court papers filed Friday that he was at the Hot Lap Dance Club near Madison Square Garden and was getting a paid lap dance when the accident occurred...
According to the lawsuit, as the dancer swung around...whoah...swung around...the heel of her shoe...im thinking a clear platform 9 inch stiletto... hit him in the eye, causing him "serious injuries." Oh. My. God....was she trying to do a fan kick over his head or something!? maybe she should stretch more...work on her extension...she must have had some major choreo goin' on...maybe a dance major at the college shes attending...she only strips to pay for school im sure...
too bad...i bet all of her best moves are now cut from her lap strips...
and ol' boy now has a great conversation opener to explain his eye patch...
LOLOL...
thought he was gettin some eye candy...and got an eye patch...lol
ciao ciao
hpro
Stephen Chang, a securities trader, said in court papers filed Friday that he was at the Hot Lap Dance Club near Madison Square Garden and was getting a paid lap dance when the accident occurred...
According to the lawsuit, as the dancer swung around...whoah...swung around...the heel of her shoe...im thinking a clear platform 9 inch stiletto... hit him in the eye, causing him "serious injuries." Oh. My. God....was she trying to do a fan kick over his head or something!? maybe she should stretch more...work on her extension...she must have had some major choreo goin' on...maybe a dance major at the college shes attending...she only strips to pay for school im sure...
too bad...i bet all of her best moves are now cut from her lap strips...
and ol' boy now has a great conversation opener to explain his eye patch...
LOLOL...
thought he was gettin some eye candy...and got an eye patch...lol
ciao ciao
hpro
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
3 Points
OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!! CAREFUL!!!
i know i shouldnt be laughing...but WOW...she got launched!
i had a moral debate with myself before posting this...but then i decided i kinda had to...parents HOLD ON TO YOUR CHILDREN!...especially when theres a high donkey back kickin' breakdancer around...she could end up between the field goal posts for crying out loud!
whoah.
ciao ciao
hpro
i know i shouldnt be laughing...but WOW...she got launched!
i had a moral debate with myself before posting this...but then i decided i kinda had to...parents HOLD ON TO YOUR CHILDREN!...especially when theres a high donkey back kickin' breakdancer around...she could end up between the field goal posts for crying out loud!
whoah.
ciao ciao
hpro
Random, I Know...
did you know that its impossible to lick your own elbow? oh, its true...go ahead and try...you wont be able to...go ahead...keep trying...
make sure you tell everyone in the office, too...and then could you get it on video for me? lolol
youre still trying, arent you? lolol
ciao ciao
hpro
make sure you tell everyone in the office, too...and then could you get it on video for me? lolol
youre still trying, arent you? lolol
ciao ciao
hpro
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Glad I Wasn't Next To This Lady At Check-In...
A woman was stopped at Munich airport after baggage control handlers found a skeleton sealed in a plastic bag in her luggage...uhh...that might make me uncomfortable...
The 62-year-old woman and her 63-year-old friend, who both live in Italy, were hauled in by airport police after a scan of the bag showed a human skull and other bones. The women were traveling to Italy from Brazil...
It turned out, however, that the woman was simply trying to fulfill the last wish of her brother — who died 11 years ago in Sao Paulo, Brazil — to be buried in Italy...
The travelers produced the appropriate papers from Brazilian authorities for the unusual transport (they have papers that allow you to pack dead people parts in your suitcase!?), and were allowed to carry on their way to Naples...with her bagged brother ...
guess its better than shipping him ups.
whoah.
ciao ciao
hpro
thanx l
The 62-year-old woman and her 63-year-old friend, who both live in Italy, were hauled in by airport police after a scan of the bag showed a human skull and other bones. The women were traveling to Italy from Brazil...
It turned out, however, that the woman was simply trying to fulfill the last wish of her brother — who died 11 years ago in Sao Paulo, Brazil — to be buried in Italy...
The travelers produced the appropriate papers from Brazilian authorities for the unusual transport (they have papers that allow you to pack dead people parts in your suitcase!?), and were allowed to carry on their way to Naples...with her bagged brother ...
guess its better than shipping him ups.
whoah.
ciao ciao
hpro
thanx l
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Wanna Go To A Peep Show?
since Easter is approaching...lololol
Woohoo!! Work it OUT pole peep!!!
poor little whore bunny peeps...those chick peeps are always trying to keep them down...and theyre just trying to pay their way through peep college...
lol
ciao ciao
hpro
thks wurz
Woohoo!! Work it OUT pole peep!!!
poor little whore bunny peeps...those chick peeps are always trying to keep them down...and theyre just trying to pay their way through peep college...
lol
ciao ciao
hpro
thks wurz
Friday, March 14, 2008
Hmmm...
if going to church makes you a christian, does going to the garage make you a car?
just a thought...
ciao ciao
hpro
just a thought...
ciao ciao
hpro
Way Random...But For The Greater Good...
um, did you know that 100 americans choke to death on ballpoint pens per year...uh people?...what are you doing with these pens!? can we stop putting them in our mouths? just put them to paper please...let the papers deal with said pens uh, perilousness...if you will...
there. ive done my part. consider yourself warned.
ciao ciao
hpro
there. ive done my part. consider yourself warned.
ciao ciao
hpro
You Do Ludicrous Things! ...lol
lol
i love how he does the backlean when he strums real hard...lolol
and his takes to the camera kill me...and the costume changes!?? HAHAHA
i love gonzo...lol...he brightens my day...
ciao ciao
hpro
i love how he does the backlean when he strums real hard...lolol
and his takes to the camera kill me...and the costume changes!?? HAHAHA
i love gonzo...lol...he brightens my day...
ciao ciao
hpro
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Ahh...Laughter At Other Peoples Expense...My Fave...lol
ok, i needed a good laugh this afternoon...and when i saw this video began with a trampoline...well, you all know how i feel about trampolines by now...nothin' good ever comes from 'em...and i love it...
did you see that dog go flying and do a triple tsukahara!?!?
lolol
ciao ciao
hpro
did you see that dog go flying and do a triple tsukahara!?!?
lolol
ciao ciao
hpro
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Makes Me Laugh...
i LOVE pigs in space...always puts me in a great mood...lol
gotta love those pigs...
and it makes me laugh out loud when miss piggy talks out of her side mouth...lol
ciao ciao
hpro
gotta love those pigs...
and it makes me laugh out loud when miss piggy talks out of her side mouth...lol
ciao ciao
hpro
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
I Love Muppets...
there is NOTHING like a good muppet video to put you in a good mood...this is one of my all-time favorites...it makes me laugh out loud when those damn pigs go flying off...
and how cool that josh groban makes a quick cameo at the end of it and sings a few notes...lol
ciao ciao
hpro
and how cool that josh groban makes a quick cameo at the end of it and sings a few notes...lol
ciao ciao
hpro
Monday, March 10, 2008
Some Randomosity For You...
I bet you didnt know this...
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma...whoah
No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times...oh its true...
Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes...umm...maybe i should tell myself this one more often when i fly...and i guess that scratches that idea ive been having about riding a burro down the grand canyon...think ill just hold off on that one...
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television...um, what about when you snooze while watching tv? i do that a lot...
Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older...whoah...and then the damn squirrels take them??...after theyve had to wait soo long to produce them!? lame squirrels, lame.
The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum...ok...
The King of Hearts is the only king without a mustache...he is morally opposed to facial hair...
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class...ONE damn olive!...for crying out loud...
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning...but not nearly as enjoyable as that shot of espresso...
Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin...um...ewww...
The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer...what a surprise...
So did the first " Marlboro Man. " dont smoke you guys...please!
Pearls melt in vinegar...dont let your pearl necklace dip into your salad dressing...
The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order...hmmm...what does this tell us?
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs... but, not downstairs...so make sure you dont...it could get ugly...i know you are all faced with this dilemma often...lol...just in case? lol...CAREFUL!!
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why...ummm...and noone cares, right? or are we supposed to? crap, am i supposed to care? are quacks supposed to echo?? why the hell dont they?? i will now apply for a grant so i can research this...i must know...i must know...
Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from
a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush...ewww, i will now keep my toothbrush in the fridge...
Turtles can breathe through their butts...lol, um, really!? i know a lot of people whose heads are located in the exact same place...i wonder if they too can breath from there...
lol
ciao ciao
hpro
thanks pp
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma...whoah
No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times...oh its true...
Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes...umm...maybe i should tell myself this one more often when i fly...and i guess that scratches that idea ive been having about riding a burro down the grand canyon...think ill just hold off on that one...
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television...um, what about when you snooze while watching tv? i do that a lot...
Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older...whoah...and then the damn squirrels take them??...after theyve had to wait soo long to produce them!? lame squirrels, lame.
The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum...ok...
The King of Hearts is the only king without a mustache...he is morally opposed to facial hair...
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class...ONE damn olive!...for crying out loud...
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning...but not nearly as enjoyable as that shot of espresso...
Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin...um...ewww...
The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer...what a surprise...
So did the first " Marlboro Man. " dont smoke you guys...please!
Pearls melt in vinegar...dont let your pearl necklace dip into your salad dressing...
The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order...hmmm...what does this tell us?
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs... but, not downstairs...so make sure you dont...it could get ugly...i know you are all faced with this dilemma often...lol...just in case? lol...CAREFUL!!
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why...ummm...and noone cares, right? or are we supposed to? crap, am i supposed to care? are quacks supposed to echo?? why the hell dont they?? i will now apply for a grant so i can research this...i must know...i must know...
Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from
a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush...ewww, i will now keep my toothbrush in the fridge...
Turtles can breathe through their butts...lol, um, really!? i know a lot of people whose heads are located in the exact same place...i wonder if they too can breath from there...
lol
ciao ciao
hpro
thanks pp
Hmmm...
"Listen deeply. The greatest failure in ANY relationship is the failure to participate."
no special reason for this one...just liked how it sounded...
ciao ciao
hpro
thanks pp
no special reason for this one...just liked how it sounded...
ciao ciao
hpro
thanks pp
Friday, March 7, 2008
Why Why Why!? Gonk Bombs...
Lady! why in GODS name would you do this?!?!
not bright at all...lol
ewww...
ciao ciao
hpro
not bright at all...lol
ewww...
ciao ciao
hpro
Who Knew...
did you know that Aerosmith's song Walk This Way was inspired by the Gene Wilder/Mel Brooks' movie Young Frankenstein?...well, it was...
now you are in the know...
ciao ciao
hpro
now you are in the know...
ciao ciao
hpro
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Careful Where You Aim That Thing...I Mean Your Cricket Bat...
Andrew Symonds takes down a streaker with his cricket bat... The Australian star levels a nude during a match...
take a look at these shots...if only we had them in booklet form, and then we could flick the pages to make it like a home-made movie...remember those?? lol...now that would be fun...
oh my...
lol
it clearly did not end well...id hate to be the one to have to slap the handcuffs on him...
ciao ciao
hpro
thanks d
take a look at these shots...if only we had them in booklet form, and then we could flick the pages to make it like a home-made movie...remember those?? lol...now that would be fun...
oh my...
lol
it clearly did not end well...id hate to be the one to have to slap the handcuffs on him...
ciao ciao
hpro
thanks d
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Morally Opposed To Big Exercise Balls...
ok...heres a story...so im hanging out with my 15 year old nephew the other day...and i had just borrowed one of those big exercise balls from my sister-in-law...i mean, since theyre all the rage and everything...
so my nephew and i are trying to figure out some exercises for this big ass ball...well...i attempt to do this one sit up type thing, except that i lose my balance and fall the hell off! but thats not the best part...i fell off, yes...BUTT (yes two t's)...my pants came off...LOLOLOL...yup...when i rolled back, my pants rolled front...and there they went...off...lolol...just ass akimbo...out...thong and all...for the whole world to see...lolol
we laughed for a good 15 minutes...we laughed so hard we cried...
ahh...the day auntie worked out, and her pants came off...brilliant...lol...good thing we're a close family...uh, even closer NOW...cripes...HAHAHAHA
im scared of that ball now...
maybe if i wear suspenders...lol
ciao ciao
hpro
so my nephew and i are trying to figure out some exercises for this big ass ball...well...i attempt to do this one sit up type thing, except that i lose my balance and fall the hell off! but thats not the best part...i fell off, yes...BUTT (yes two t's)...my pants came off...LOLOLOL...yup...when i rolled back, my pants rolled front...and there they went...off...lolol...just ass akimbo...out...thong and all...for the whole world to see...lolol
we laughed for a good 15 minutes...we laughed so hard we cried...
ahh...the day auntie worked out, and her pants came off...brilliant...lol...good thing we're a close family...uh, even closer NOW...cripes...HAHAHAHA
im scared of that ball now...
maybe if i wear suspenders...lol
ciao ciao
hpro
Saturday, March 1, 2008
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD...
ok, i have a story to share...
so many of you who know me, know that i am terrified of flying...i just dont do well with it anymore...and i know its something that i have to deal with, cuz i travel a lot, so i just work through it...um, usually with half a xanax...
well, last night, i was taking the red eye from lax and flying to the east coast...where there happened to be a HUGE snow storm going on...
well, right before boarding, i gave myself a little pep talk, popped my little pill, and got in line...now tell me...why come i had to get right behind this girl who was BAWLING and WAILING that she didnt want to fly...please dont make her...and the weather was so bad we were definitely gonna crash...blah blah...?
i'd say she was in her late twenties...clutching a pillow...that i really wanted to smother her with...and she was with some older guy, who was completely ignoring her...so glad he could...
anyway...we go to get on the plane...and this girl stops at the plane door and starts crying and screaming hysterically...she touches the top of the door frame and each side of it...and shes yelling "we're all gonna die!"...um, yeah...and the flight attendants...are like "no we wont...if we cant land, we'll be diverted...blah blah"...none of which this damn tool is listening to...
so by the time i get to my seat...this bitch has me TOTALLY freaked out...and im thinking...oh my God...i think we might all really die like she says...the whole law of attraction thing (which ive been practicing since reading 'the secret') is now
TOTALLY working against me...and im thinking this stupid girls horrible energy is gonna crash this damn plane!...i know, it sounds ridiculous...but these are the thoughts that are going through my head...
anyway...why come she had to sit right behind me?!...and shes just saying all this stuff out loud over and over...and the old guy shes with just keeps ignoring her...meanwhile...my little "make me feel better" pill doesnt work at all!...prolly cuz shes freaked me out so much by this point...
well, we are about half way there...mind u, ive been up for the entire flight so far...scared to death...the pilot makes an announcement for all flight attendants to remain in their seats...this is never a good thing...its now 2 am pst...ive tried to distract myself by catching up on top model episodes on my ipod...to no avail...i look out the window, and i can see a crazy ass storm right below me...and now it starts to get ridiculously bumpy...ok, maybe bumpy is not the word...you know when you make a crazy move when you nod off cuz you dreamt you fell off a cliff or something...and you jar yourself awake...usually embarrassing yourself?...well thats what it was like...sharp scary drops and shakes and bumps and terrifying crap...this goes on forever...and it looks like armageddon out my window...um, and why am i looking out the damn window? yeah, cuz im an idiot...and nosey...lol i am praying at this point...and YOU KNOW the bitch behind me is losing her mind...
then out of nowhere it felt like we dropped from the sky...just dropped...and landed on the runway...apparently they try to land the planes like helicopters during these storms so the wings dont freeze up...nice...scared the shit out of me...well then the runway was covered with about a foot of snow at least...and we skidded like crazy...aughghh...the girl behind me screaming...im doing my "im so grateful for the safety of this flight" 'secret' affirmation work...lol...and we skidded....and we skidded...but we made it to the gate...THANK YOU UNIVERSE...and thank you brilliant pilots...and here i am writing all of this...
i didnt see that stupid girl at baggage claim...and its a good thing...i think i would have smacked her with my overpacked suitcase...and in the ooooh so random chance that she would ever read this...
i think i hate you.
ciao ciao
hpro
so many of you who know me, know that i am terrified of flying...i just dont do well with it anymore...and i know its something that i have to deal with, cuz i travel a lot, so i just work through it...um, usually with half a xanax...
well, last night, i was taking the red eye from lax and flying to the east coast...where there happened to be a HUGE snow storm going on...
well, right before boarding, i gave myself a little pep talk, popped my little pill, and got in line...now tell me...why come i had to get right behind this girl who was BAWLING and WAILING that she didnt want to fly...please dont make her...and the weather was so bad we were definitely gonna crash...blah blah...?
i'd say she was in her late twenties...clutching a pillow...that i really wanted to smother her with...and she was with some older guy, who was completely ignoring her...so glad he could...
anyway...we go to get on the plane...and this girl stops at the plane door and starts crying and screaming hysterically...she touches the top of the door frame and each side of it...and shes yelling "we're all gonna die!"...um, yeah...and the flight attendants...are like "no we wont...if we cant land, we'll be diverted...blah blah"...none of which this damn tool is listening to...
so by the time i get to my seat...this bitch has me TOTALLY freaked out...and im thinking...oh my God...i think we might all really die like she says...the whole law of attraction thing (which ive been practicing since reading 'the secret') is now
TOTALLY working against me...and im thinking this stupid girls horrible energy is gonna crash this damn plane!...i know, it sounds ridiculous...but these are the thoughts that are going through my head...
anyway...why come she had to sit right behind me?!...and shes just saying all this stuff out loud over and over...and the old guy shes with just keeps ignoring her...meanwhile...my little "make me feel better" pill doesnt work at all!...prolly cuz shes freaked me out so much by this point...
well, we are about half way there...mind u, ive been up for the entire flight so far...scared to death...the pilot makes an announcement for all flight attendants to remain in their seats...this is never a good thing...its now 2 am pst...ive tried to distract myself by catching up on top model episodes on my ipod...to no avail...i look out the window, and i can see a crazy ass storm right below me...and now it starts to get ridiculously bumpy...ok, maybe bumpy is not the word...you know when you make a crazy move when you nod off cuz you dreamt you fell off a cliff or something...and you jar yourself awake...usually embarrassing yourself?...well thats what it was like...sharp scary drops and shakes and bumps and terrifying crap...this goes on forever...and it looks like armageddon out my window...um, and why am i looking out the damn window? yeah, cuz im an idiot...and nosey...lol i am praying at this point...and YOU KNOW the bitch behind me is losing her mind...
then out of nowhere it felt like we dropped from the sky...just dropped...and landed on the runway...apparently they try to land the planes like helicopters during these storms so the wings dont freeze up...nice...scared the shit out of me...well then the runway was covered with about a foot of snow at least...and we skidded like crazy...aughghh...the girl behind me screaming...im doing my "im so grateful for the safety of this flight" 'secret' affirmation work...lol...and we skidded....and we skidded...but we made it to the gate...THANK YOU UNIVERSE...and thank you brilliant pilots...and here i am writing all of this...
i didnt see that stupid girl at baggage claim...and its a good thing...i think i would have smacked her with my overpacked suitcase...and in the ooooh so random chance that she would ever read this...
i think i hate you.
ciao ciao
hpro
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